So, how have you been feeling lately? Whew, I have been exhausted.

A friend recently admitted that she has been feeling too tired and overwhelmed to do the work of Spirit, and asked if I had ever felt that way as well. And I was so grateful that she had the courage to reach out to connect with me and express just what I was feeling too. I have been lying low, overwhelmed, exhausted, depleted, completely drained. In fact, when the lease to my office was up in July I didn’t renew it in part because I didn’t feel like I had the energy or the presence to show up and be of service to anyone in my depleted state. I thought I would take a break from offering any healing work, and focus on self-care and refilling my energy reserves.

I sprained my knee a few months ago, and did not totally heed Spirit’s invitation to sit down, so then I hurt my other knee and ankle, and now I really have been forced into resting. For the last several months, I have been following the guidance of my doctor and the medical model, going to physical therapy, getting acupuncture and receiving Chinese medicine therapies, journeying, connecting with power animals, meditating, changing my diet, napping, writing, drawing, receiving body work and energy medicine, doing ceremony, practicing gratitude, acceptance and surrender, praying, and calling on my guardian and helping spirits. Not all of this at once, of course! But I felt like I was working hard to feel better, and if it doesn’t happen soon, it won’t be from lack of trying!


Ha! And then not too long ago, I realized that I have been praying for the wrong thing. About ten months ago I changed the way I opened up sacred space at the beginning of my healing sessions. I added in a part about being a “hollow bone, an empty vessel so that Spirit could flow freely through me to be of service.” And I left out the part about asking for as much of the energy of Spirit to remain with me as I could handle after the healing session was completed. After repeatedly invoking this, that’s what I became—hollow and empty. Depleted, exhausted, completely drained. Because that’s what I asked for—without actually realizing what I was saying. Yes, our intention carries the most weight. I wanted Spirit to flow through me to be of service in the world. That was my clear intention. And I did create that. I just wasn’t paying full attention to the words I was using and their impact on me. Since I have realized what I was saying, I have made a change. I am now praying to be filled with the love and light of Spirit, so that I may serve from the overflow. And I am beginning to feel so much better!


I have been getting this message from many different sources, that we need to take care of ourselves first now—that it’s not even optional, it’s the only way we will be able to survive. It’s not selfish, it’s the most basic self-care, and necessary if we want to be of service to others. Right now, we are integrating a lot of new energy and light and that can be exhausting. Be kind to yourself. Listen to your body, listen to your spirit. Give yourself what you need. We are powerful creators, but we can’t serve others until we serve ourselves.